I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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