I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
