Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
