I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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