He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
