Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
