i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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