Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
