Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
