I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
