he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
