Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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