I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
