She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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