his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
