the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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