if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
someone threw a dead crab at me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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