butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
