She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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