So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
