new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
