whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
