i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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