dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
