i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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