I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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