Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
