hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
