Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize