How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
