Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
