redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
