....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Houston, we have a blender
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
