I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
