just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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