It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
