there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
