We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
