Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
