i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
