so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
