Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
