The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
