I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
