You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
