i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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