your room smells of hookers.
And success
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
