Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
