dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
