Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
