you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
