Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Someone signed my nipple.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
