I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We had sex on a dog bed..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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