His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I could fuck to npr.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
