Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
