I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is Oprah even human
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
