the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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