her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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