omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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