also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
