Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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