I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize