I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
