Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
