He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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