oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
