can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
