I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
