do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
