I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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