We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
