It's like God shit irony all over that family
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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